Christmas ~ 7 years ago…Winter Park, Colorado 2008
Looking back…so hard, and yet I can’t keep myself from strolling down memory lane. Mostly with tears, along with some laughter, talking about the good times. This Christmas, unlike last, I’m very aware of the loss and the pain of not having him here. I feel like last year we simply put ourselves in neutral and didn’t “think”, we just “did”. We didn’t know how to miss him. We could hardly comprehend that he was gone.
Now, a year later, my mind and my heart are much more aware of our reality and how nothing about it feels right. I don’t think it ever will…Thankful for the good times and the pictures that help me to remember!
Precious Grace…my how she has grown up! Love this girl and how she inspires me everyday to be strong and courageous. Christmas isn’t nearly as much fun without her brother…she misses him so very much!
We had taken the kids out of school a few days early before Christmas break. We were living in San Antonio at the time. Since we’ve always lived in Texas, going where there was snow was exciting!!
Warren loved skiing and was VERY good with little coaching from Dad!
We had fun riding snowmobiles! The view from the top of the mountain was so awesome…Absolutely breathtaking!
I remember how very cold it was..especially the higher we got! At one point during the ride, we had to stop so that Warren could warm his hands using the heat of the engine. I think he complained of his hands being cold the entire time..It was cold!
I remember stopping on the side of the road to build this snowman. Warren and his Dad worked so hard. We laughed and laughed as they built this ….”snowman”! (looked more like a triangle of snow …) Warren was so proud!!
We ice skated and Warren helped Grace until she got the hang of it.
Snow angels were a must, as well as a good ole’ fashion snowball fight!
Tubing was probably one of our favorite activities!! The look on Warren’s face is one of my favorites…pure JOY!!!
With the Christmas season in full swing, our hearts are aching as we remember… Remembering our family as it used to be. Longing for the “normal” of Christmas..whatever that is. Doing our very best to push through the hard, trusting that God will be bigger, yet again, than this pain that’s almost unbearable. I miss Warren everywhere I go. There is always something I see or hear that reminds me of him. He loved Christmas almost as much as I did!! 🙂 This time of year will never be the same without Warren…and I don’t mean that negatively. It’s just a fact. Not having him here changes everything..and no matter how intentional we are to see things from an eternal perspective, I can’t help but wish… with my whole heart… he were still here with us.
I pulled out one of my journals yesterday, and found that this week last year I was trying to wrap my mind around how to have JOY in the midst of great sorrow. On one hand it seems impossible except that Joy, true Joy, is something found deep within my soul …my salvation in Jesus Christ,and no one or no thing can take that from me. Even in the worst of circumstances, I can sing and shout, because the JOY of the Lord is my strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)
So, as we grieve and push through the “hard”, we will fix our eyes on Jesus. When this doesn’t seem fair and we wonder why us, we will press in and believe that God is working, and we will trust Him. When I cry because I’m not sure I can make it one more day…I will look UP, for that is where my Help comes from.
Please be near to us Jesus…Overwhelm us with your presence this Christmas.
We just miss him so much.