Keeping It Simple

I recently found myself wrestling with this question:

What is my ONE thing? 

In my journey of grief and suffering over the last (almost) 5 years, what would I say is the ONE thing I have learned, experienced, or needed the most?  What is the ONE thing that has provided me the greatest comfort, peace, and brought more joy than I could have ever imagined possible?

Of course, the simple answer is Jesus.  But in my “wrestling,” I felt maybe, my answer needed to have more “depth”, a lengthier explanation.

But here’s the thing – When the “unexpected” happens , and chaos keeps our minds from being able to focus or think clearly – Simple is good.

One thousand eight hundred nine days ago, as we walked out of Texas Children’s Hospital, without Warren – My mind was spinning, and the future of uncertainty threatened my sanity.  So I desperately cried out the only thing I could think of – Please dear Jesus, we need you!

His Presence

And you know what? It was when everything around me seemed out of control that I experienced the presence of God. It was the one thing that brought chaos back to order. It was the one thing that brought indescribable peace and comfort to our painful circumstances. This one thing, is what I continue to seek after, chase down, and ultimately rest in – because I cannot imagine a single moment outside of his glorious presence.

The simple, yet all powerful name of Jesus spoken into our circumstances changes everything…

I love these lyrics from the song Spirit Move

So like the rain, come and drench us in love
Let Your glory rush in like a flood – We are fixed on this one thing
To know Your goodness and see Your glory
We’re transformed by this one thing
To know Your presence and see Your beauty

Another November has rolled around. Of course, it always will. I suppose it’s the mental countdown to the 24^th that seems to weary my heart. I just can’t help but wish it were all different. It feels natural to let my heart pause and remember, to feel the pain of loss, and to give in to the tears that I know bring relief and healing. It’s different approaching year 5 – In ways I never thought possible! Still, I find myself trying hard not to let the memories slip so far away…  

And then it happens, a picture sparks a memory, a story, laughter and more stories. We remember our son and our brother. And we are thankful.

My heart is full, and all because of Jesus.

Martha welcomed Jesus into her house. She had a sister Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. (Jesus to Martha) – “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary, Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:38-42

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Now, if indeed I have found favor in Your sight, please let me know Your ways, that I may know You and find favor in Your sight. Remember that this nation is Your people.” And the LORD answered, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” “If Your Presence does not go with us,” Moses replied, “do not lead us up from here.” Exodus 33:13-15

David longed for it more than anything, Moses understood without it, the journey ahead would be impossible, and Mary experienced it at the very feet of Jesus –

His presence, the radiance of the glory of God who is majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, and the one who upholds the universe by the word of his power. (Hebrews 1:3, Exodus 15:11)

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11