Yes…that is a picture that we took. That is a sunset that God gave us the first night of our Spring Break. A week that part of me dreaded..only because I (of course ) worried how in the world we would do it…our first SB without Warren. I began to pray several weeks ago that God would help us to make plans on how/ where we would spend our week. I talked to Him about it everyday. As it got closer and closer, I listened to the plans of others and although excited for them, I wished desperately that things were different for my family.
I couldn’t help but remember last year and the feeling of complete “peace” and “joy” as we packed our car to head to SA…Bill had taken off work, both kids in the backseat..giddy to be out of school. Spring Break 2014 :)…baseball games and bluebell #blessed…right..? Next to being with my family…I LOVE hotels! So just the fact that I would not be making beds, or cooking meals elated me! I remember arriving after dark to the hotel, and Bill and I sat alone outside, as the kids ran around looking for the s’mores! I talked to Bill about how blessed I felt…healthy kids, jobs, friends, family…..I think I even posted something on Facebook about how blessed we were…And we were~
This last week we enjoyed a beautiful house on Lake Conroe. Because God is in every detail of our lives… and through the generosity of a family in our community, God answered my prayer and gave us a place to go and spend time with each other. The house was beautiful, the view was breathtaking, the time together with Bill and Grace, priceless. God is so good, and He knows just what we need, when we need it. He truly does delight in us! (Psalm 18:19)
…although thankful for what God provided for us, my heart ached and I couldn’t help but miss what ‘should be’. He should be with us…..I miss my adventurous, happy, silly, loving Warren. I miss the kid that would have LOVED being in that ‘fancy’ house and being able to walk out and fish off the deck. I miss his laugh and how he and Grace would have spent hours exploring and enjoying each other (truly, they would have)! The void is painful and we miss him..TERRIBLY!
As I sat quietly with God each morning, I told Him how I missed Warren. I asked him why us? I felt a pain in my chest…I missed the memories of last Spring Break…I wondered if I could consider myself blessed? What does it mean to be blessed? I (thought) I was “#blessed” last year , but my family is not complete, we are not all safely together in a hotel room looking forward to a week of adventure. #Blessed? …..
and then I was gently reminded that it IS NOT the things in or of this world that count…It’s Jesus. Jesus only Jesus…My view has to be eternal. My eyes must be fixed on Jesus and set on things above. My being blessed doesn’t rely on who or what surrounds me…I am blessed because I am a child of God. I have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father that loves me. I am blessed with the incomprehensible riches of His love, His grace, and His kingdom. A kingdom that cannot be shaken! I must put God first. This world is temporary BUT GOD, He is unchangeable. (1 John 2:15-17) I am not trying to say that our children, husband, and friends are not a ‘blessing’. They are indeed. But those blessings that we enjoy from day to day are temporary. They come and they go. They change or can be taken away….The ultimate blessing is the new life and forgiveness that comes through faith in Jesus. Those that love and fear the Lord are blessed. Those who find their purpose and fulfillment in God are blessed.
Am I #blessed? Yes….Thank you Jesus for the reminder and for helping me to love you MORE.
Psalm 146:5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God.
I just love that even during a week that was often times painful, God used it to teach me new truths. Besides reminding me that I am blessed, I was challenged to:
“Wake Up”~ Revelation 3:2
“Live obediently and expectantly” ~ 1Peter 4:7
“Be alert and watchful”~1 Peter 5:8
“Meditate on His Word & Fix my eyes on His Ways”~ Psalm 119:15
Our family made the most of this last week. We are so grateful for the precious family that generously gave us the house to use. I must say that as I looked ahead at the weather for the week, I was concerned that we might be stuck inside with lots of rain in the forecast. Although I wouldn’t mind the cloudy rainy days snuggled on the couch, I knew it wouldn’t be fun for Grace. Not only did the rain stay away (until last night and today), we had mild days and the most spectacular sunset each evening. We were right on the lake so we were able to go out each night and enjoy the view from their deck. I cherished each one and felt as though they were a special gift from Heaven just for us. So overwhelmed and thankful for a God that keeps His promises. A God that continues to be my strength when I am weak. A God that continues to be near and hold me(us) so tenderly….
Spring Break 2015 #blessed