I am reminded as the rodeo is in full swing…that my sweet boy loved his boots and jeans! He was cool and oh, so very handsome! I also LOVE that he loved his sister..and she loves him!
I miss him terribly and honestly have tried to ignore the ‘rodeo’ activity happening all around. It’s not so much the rodeo, although I am reminded that we went last year over Spring Break…I would so love to go back 50 weeks…I just miss him.
Ok..however, I have some good news! Something God gave me early on was how He would always be enough for TODAY….I could not look to tomorrow, I had to trust God for today…Trying to figure out how I would handle my future without Warren wasn’t going to work..Way too much for my brain to process.
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and TODAY and forever.
God gave me 4 gifts this week..Actually He gave them to me on Monday. I was recovering from our busy cheer weekend and knew I needed a fresh word from God. I needed to be in His Word and I needed A WORD from the One who had promised to never leave me and the ONE who said He would be ENOUGH!
So here it is…. ONE: God gave me a very rested and happy Grace on Monday morning. I’m not going to embarrass her, but let’s just say my sweet Grace is not a morning person,(and she comes by it honestly) she had a good excuse to wake up grumpy..but, she did not. I had asked God to please give her the rest that she needed and that she would wake up happy… It may sound like a small thing, but these days..nothing is a small thing when I see how God hears us and meets our needs. My girl woke up on her own and fixed her own breakfast. She NEVER once complained and all the while she had a smile on her face! YES! Thank you Jesus for gift#1.
TWO: God gave me a scripture that grabbed me and spoke to me… 2Timothy 4:17 ~
But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might here it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth.
I was reminded that He has not left me alone (Deuteronomy 31:6)and that He alone is my strength. I was encouraged to continue sharing the Good News of Jesus with others. I was reminded that satan will NOT win…I have been rescued, and the victory belongs to Jesus.
THREE: God sent a friend to deliver beautiful flowers to my house. They were beautiful and blue.. Oh, how God continues to use His people in so many ways to minister to me.
FOUR: A blue dress…God gave me a blue dress! A friend from church came over Monday afternoon to deliver a gift that she said God told her to buy for me. I know this may seem weird..She even questioned it at first. I don’t know God’s full purpose or what the dress means for me at this time. I do however believe that God speaks to us and when He does we listen. I am so thankful this dear friend listened and then had the boldness to share it with me. Oh, I pray that God would use me in this way one day…I am listening, Jesus. Give me this kind of boldness…. I have this dress hanging on a wall in my bedroom so that I can see it first thing when I wake up every morning. I want to be reminded that God is very much doing something and I want to be found faithful…whatever it is..whenever it is. Here is the card that came with this beautiful gift:
Friend, As I write this card I am filled with awe of the Father’s Love for you and over you. He constantly and consistently extends His love towards us in our journey and pain. He told me to buy this for you. And what I heard him say was “New Season”. The seasons are changing, the climate is changing, sports seasons are changing and He is ushering in NEW with you. So while this dress represents a new season it bears a familiar color that represents the one you love. As the seasons change He will NEVER be forgotten or moved past but will be displayed in and through you and Bill and Grace in beautiful and tangible new ways. So don’t fear the change of season, for there is so much beauty yet to be seen.
In no way did I interpret this to mean its time to “move on”…so for anyone who is in a season of grief..that is not what ‘new season’ is speaking to me. I am reminded of the scripture that says His mercies are NEW every morning…(Lamentations 3:22-23) and also the promise that in Christ Jesus I am a NEW creation (2 Cor.5:17) He knows my pain and sorrow and He is gently bringing me “new” as He continues to be enough for my todays. “New” reminds me of the hope I have in Jesus.
In my attempts to share honestly, I must tell you that as I woke up Tuesday, it was rough. I cried and spent time in Warren’s room. I found a t-shirt that had class of 2019 on the front. I began to feel a sadness for all the things Warren would miss, the things I will miss. For a moment, all of God’s promises seemed so distant …I couldn’t feel His nearness. As I cried and loneliness crept in…I couldn’t help but think of the ‘gifts’ that God had given me just the day before. I could hear God whisper~ “I am your strength” “I will be enough for today” So thankful for that still small voice that speaks so loudly into my pain and suffering.
Missing Warren and wanting to have him home with me…yet still believing and trusting
~Jesus Only Jesus