We love you so much WB….
We are BEYOND grateful for the continued love and support from YOU!! Your prayers for our family are felt and greatly appreciated! We love you!!
I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and glory, because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. Psalm 63:2-3
Warren has been in Heaven for 2 months, at least for us (here on earth) it’s been 2 months. I’m not sure what that means for us. Part of me wishes that 2 months would mean less hurt and sadness…it doesn’t. I wish that I could look at pictures and not cry…I cannot. I wish that our new normal had become easier…it hasn’t. Unfortunately, as his mother, there isn’t a minute that goes by that my heart doesn’t long to have him here. So I guess ultimately, this day means just that, it’s been 2 months….and I wish he was here. I miss him and my heart hurts today, like it did yesterday.
I actually began writing this post earlier this week…I almost deleted it, but then decided that going on and on about how sad I feel wasn’t helpful for anyone..especially me. Don’t misunderstand, I know we have the right to be sad and cry and even ‘go on and on’ if we want to, and we do, we will…so thank you for praying. I suppose that what I want you to know is that even in my heart ache and with tears streaming down my face, we still believe that God works all things together for our good. He is infinitely sovereign and our hope continues to be in Him.
A song has been running through my head all week… “Come and See”, by Matt Redman. The chorus is this:
“Come and see, come and see what God has done
come and see come and see what love has won
in this place hearts and lives waking up
to the Light of the world
You’re the Light of the world”
As we sang the words to this song in church last Sunday I began to think about Warren’s service. I began to think about how God is being glorified. I was reminded how He showed up on December 2, 2015 and lives were forever changed because of Jesus, because of Warren’s testimony, his ‘sermons’. I sang with tears streaming down my face because I miss Warren, but I raised my hands to worship because I serve a mighty God who is up to something. I am witnessing God’s power and glory in ways I never knew possible. Maybe before, I didn’t think I needed Him this much. Maybe because I had gotten too comfortable… I can tell you a couple of things for sure; I need Him and I am not comfortable! Isn’t this where we should always be?? I love where it says in the song that Love has won and hearts and lives are waking up. I think some people might ask, what in the world have we ‘won’ here…Love?? We’ve just experienced death. There couldn’t be a bigger loss!
But this Love, this perfect love is Jesus. Love has won!! Love was won when our resurrected King conquered the grave. In fact, I consider everything else a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. (Philippians 3:8) Do not misunderstand me…my earthly loss is great. It’s awful…It is bigger than me and sometimes I wonder how I will survive. The truth is, at some point every day I cry out to Jesus. I literally get on my knees and beg God for mercy. For one reason or another I reach the point of pure exhaustion and I just can’t sing one more song or read one more bible verse. I just cry. I cry for Bill and Grace because I can’t make this better for them. I cry for Warren because I would give anything to have him walk around the corner and this all be some sort of horrible dream. I cry, and I cry..you get the picture….”But” ….But Jesus! (Matt. 14:27) But Jesus immediately said to them; “take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
Then…in that moment of despair, I’m reminded to look to the cross.. The cross brings me to Jesus and the hope I have in Him….I don’t have answers, only Jesus….Just Jesus!! He is enough!!! He is the reason that hearts and lives are being changed…My heart..My life.
So, even as difficult as today is, I am trusting God for TODAY (more on this amazing truth later!!) Today, Jesus will be enough for us. 2 months later..this is the promise that gets me up in the morning! So I want to encourage you to ….
“come and see, come and see what God has done…come and see what LOVE has won”!! He IS indeed up to something…