Giving Your Heart and Head Time to Catch Up…



…As I scroll through Facebook, I continue to see pictures and stories of how flood waters have violently left an unwanted mark in peoples lives.  Neighbors who have lost everything…. homes, cars, and other personal belongings.  The devastation has been unreal, and yet SO VERY REAL TO MANY!!

As heart breaking as it is, there are also stories and pictures that are a wonderful illustration of  strength, community, and redemption….It’s not going to happen overnight, and it won’t be easy, but we are HOUSTON STRONG! 🙂

There are no words to really describe what people are going through or what their “new normal” is since Harvey…because, although my heart knows loss, it’s different, and I can’t pretend to understand what people are feeling at this moment…and I’m just so sorry.


My Personal Storm

I recently explained to someone that on August 21,  Grace started school, 9th grade, High school, without her brother…A new schedule, a new season…Adjusting to new days without Warren.  This will be our 3rd (school) year.  With time, practice and lots of prayer, we are figuring out how to use certain “tools” to protect our hearts and push through the hard!

So, when Harvey hit….and school came to an abrupt halt, my heart and my head were thrown for a loop.  Literally a storm hit our city and my heart all at the same time. I must  confess that the storm and all the pain and suffering around me has been a trigger, and my heart misses Warren so terribly…More than usual, and its been difficult to shake..

However, I am realizing, that although it’s unique for all of us, people are hurting and trying to make sense of their current situation…and wondering when/if things will ever be normal again.

Truth & Encouragement

In a message given by our pastor after the storm, he said something that I needed to hear and wanted to share …. Not that you need permission from me, but maybe you need permission from you….

It’s OK to grieve over the loss of your “stuff”..your house, your things, the way things used to be.  

It is not materialistic to walk into your house and feel sad about the things that are ruined or dirty or missing.  It must be a terrible feeling to walk into a place where you once felt safe and comfortable, have snuggled on the couch and watched movies, raised a family, gathered for holidays, celebrated birthdays..and see such disorder.  It’s like someone came in without permission and invaded your personal space…

I’m a very sentimental person…and especially since Warren’s death, there are things and places, and memories of how life used to be (should be) that are very special to me.

Give yourself the freedom to grieve.  Allow yourself the opportunity to feel the pain that comes with loss..even the loss of things.  Remembering too, that this process is different for everyone.

I keep hearing, “this is not a race, its a marathon.”…Such Truth!!…..It’s going to take time! Your heart and your head need time to catch up…It’s not always.. “pull yourself up by your bootstraps and charge forward…”

One of my favorite texts to receive is one that a friend or family member will send reminding me ..”we are still with you..”  I’m learning that not all of us are “first responders”…but this road will be long for many and there is a lot of work still to be done.

I still Believe He Is Good and His Promises are True

The bible talks about the various trials that we will endure as Christ followers.  We are not to be surprised by them.  It is in these times of great difficulty that I pray our faith is increased …I pray that we remain steadfast.

I can’t say it’s not a little messy walking out our faith in the middle of pure exhaustion, uncertain times, and heavy hearts…but I do know that at the end of the day…Jesus is enough!

There will be days when we feel like throwing our arms in the air and shouting, “I can’t!” ..and go ahead…Do it!  You’ll feel better!  But in that moment of complete desperateness, I believe He reaches down and strengthens our weak and feeble hands and makes straight our path.

Yes!  I really still believe this ..and I do not pretend to know or understand your personal journey…and I certainly don’t make light of it, but I do trust that the only Hope worth holding onto is Jesus.

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.  Psalm 62:8

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

I have set the Lord before me, because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Psalm 16:8

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope!  The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.  “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”  Lamentations 3:21-24


the “24th”…

IMG_0196For the last 10 months the “24th” has not been especially significant one way or the other.  Sometimes it even sneaks up on us…We usually speak of it only to remind ourselves that it’s ‘that’ day, and people might mention it, so just be aware that today’s the day that Warren died ‘x’ months ago. It’s not that we don’t appreciate the gestures of you remembering.  In fact, for me, I’m glad you remember and I’m glad when you acknowledge it.  Equally so, if you don’t acknowledge it, we are good with that too.  So many of you are an encouragement on “other” days and   I think it goes back to how God uses certain people at just the right time, and for that I (we) are beyond grateful.

However, today, is different and I’m not sure why.  I’m guessing it’s because it means that we are that much closer to the ‘1 year’.  Or, maybe it’s because of special memories like this time last year when the kids were getting out for early dismissal….

I remember pulling in the driveway from work and Warren meeting me out at the car to help me… actually, I don’t think I had asked him for help with anything, he just met me at the car as I pulled up.  He didn’t have plans for the early release day, so he had been home alone (because, I am certain Grace did 🙂 ), and was glad to have some company! (even if it was mom!!)  I immediately could tell something was “off”.  He just didn’t seem himself.  Not sad, just bummed…. I remember him (finally) sharing with me about a text conversation that disclosed some news that maybe a girl didn’t like him the way he’d thought (or hoped).  Of course my heart broke for him, and even the memory of this conversation makes me sad.  I do remember that this ended up being no big deal and even if Warren never had that “special” someone, he was a good friend to lot’s of girls and apparently was even asked by some of his friends, on occasion, to be the “go between”…which I always told him was the perfect place to be !

I wish he were waiting on me today…I don’t know what else we did that afternoon, but I know today I would drop everything and just be with him!

I’m not exactly sure why today seems harder than the last 24th…but it does, or at least I feel more teary.  It has me flipping through pictures and remembering how handsome he was, how funny he was, and how loving he was.  I think some of my favorite pictures are the candid shots of him, better known today as “selfies”.  They show a side of him that make me smile and remember fondly his stage of life…as a 13 year old boy!

summer 2013
summer 2013
summer 2013
summer 2013
October 2013
October 2013


summer 2014
summer 2014
fall 2014
fall 2014

The “24th”…just another day to remember our precious, silly, good hair, freckled, music loving, hunter, baseball cap wearing, t-shirt lover, sensitive, strong, confident, Jesus follower …Warren

I must include a couple other “selfies” of the other people that make my heart glad!!

fall 2015
fall 2015-that’s my Grace
fall 2015
fall 2015~at least we try :/

Declaring this today…

I can walk
Down this dark and painful road
I can face
Every fear of the unknown
I can hear
All God’s children singing out
We will not be overtaken
We will not be overcome